My body is not my own...and other stuff

Well, I'm far from complaining about "being pregnant", just to preface the following update. I still feel really good, and am falling more and more in love with Jellybean everyday (I've chosen a nickname to refer to the baby, instead of always saying "the baby").

But, to update:

Seriously, this is not my body. Well, it is, in its most extreme form. I've always had issues with circulation, so I kind of saw some things coming. And, other things..well, they're just par for the course, I suppose.

Apparently carpal tunnel syndrome (which is common in about 20% of all pregnancies) has reared its ugly head. I saw my chiropractor this morning, and he informed me that it is a matter of circulation, and where there is normally a very small opening for circulation in the wrist, the fluid retention is causing that to be next to nil. Needless to say, some yoga positions have been painful to the point of nearly collapsing within a pose, and sleeping on my left side (the side recommended in pregnancy) causes enough tingling and numbness to wake me up several times a night, due to the fact that it's worse on my left side than my right. My left thumb is pretty much in a constant state of tingling/numbness throughout the day.

My feet are up to a size and a half larger (according to shoe sizes). I used to be comfortable in 7 1/2 - 8, and now 9's are standard issue. And, any constriction - any whatsoever - is so uncomfortable! I have a pair of sandals that are relatively comfortable, but they have straps that are somewhat binding...well, an hour (if that) in those shoes, and the fluid in my feet puddle up and around the straps, making my feet look like a play-doh fun factory. And, the bottoms of my feet are always hot and tight. Always.

Other than the circulation, I'm finding that the size of my belly (already!) is making maneuvering difficult, particularly in bed. I really do feel like I'm carrying around a basketball (a very heavy one) on the front of my body. My tummy isn't necessarily the size of a basketball yet, but apparently my uterus is, and I can definitely feel it when I'm laying down, trying to get into a comfortable position, or getting out of bed 3-4 times a night to pee. I can feel the weight in my lower back as well as on my pelvic region. That makes doing a lot of everyday activities difficult and tiresome.

I am the sweat machine! Particularly my armpits. No amount of antiperspirant works (I try to limit my use of that anyways), and it just isn't feasible to try and "powder" the pits - not only is it messy, it just doesn't stay dry for more than 10 minutes. Between my legs, my ass crack, where the boobs meet the belly..you name it, it's sweaty. Ewe.

My nipples are...not my nipples. They've tripled..maybe even quadrupled in size (the areola, that is), and since about the 2nd month I've had some crusties from leaking colostrum. Not enough to notice through the bra, mind you. Though, last night I experienced a leak on the bed for the first time. It may be time to pick up some reusable breast pads. Might as well stock up.

I am almost immediately affected by too much sugar, not enough water, pushing my body too hard, and nearly anything else involving my physiology.

Alas, with all of this extra blood circulating through my veins, I do have a nice, rosy glow most of the time. Especially with the weather being as warm as it's been. My hair is growing rapidly, making it difficult to NOT chop it again - which I may just do before mid Summer. But, if I decide to keep growing it, I'm off to a good start. And, my chubby little fingers just keep growing long, strong nails that I have to keep trimmed or they'll poke an eye out.

All in all, I really do love being pregnant. I love feeling this life in my belly, and seeing it grow and change the shape of my body. I'm enjoying learning about the process of birth, and may have even discovered a new path for myself, in the area of becoming a doula, or in some capacity attempting to educate women about the beautiful, natural process of birth and becoming a mama.

An update on other stuff:

Bradley Method Classes
Michael and I are nearly done with the Bradley classes (last class is July 6th). I'm so glad we took this course. We've learned so much, and having met our teachers has proven to be a beneficial addition to our lives. I think we may have a doula, or at the very least some long term friends, from this, as well as a better understanding of the labor/delivery process. We'll have over 2 months left until the birth once we're done, but we may go back for some refreshers toward the end. Having that time will allow us the chance to really focus on our birth plan and to practice the relaxation techniques we want to take with us into birth.

Birth Center Opening Up
There is a birth center opening up in St. Louis Park, and we're hoping to get into it if they're open in time. They were supposed to have been open already, and I'm not sure what the hold up is, but we're hoping to meet with the woman running it at one of Blooma's Monday night parenting/childbirth collectives. (currently, our Bradley class is on Monday's, so we'll have to wait just a couple more weeks) If you're unfamiliar with what a "birth center" is, it's more or less the closest thing you can get to the comfort of your own home, and anything but the typical "hospital" setting for giving birth. A nice compromise, considering they're far more likely to be covered under insurance than a home birth, because they're usually affiliated with a hospital.

Classes, classes and more classes!
We'll be attending plenty of classes pretty soon, and I'm glad we're starting now. Everything from breast feeding to child CPR to infant massage. I will, of course, be checking in with my local Le Leche League. And, we're doing a hospital tour of Fairview Riverside (just in case the birth center isn't open in time). This hospital is where the midwives at Fairview Womens Clinic (our prenatal clinic) deliver.

Yoga
The best thing I've done for myself, and I think, for the baby and birthing process. I heart Blooma! What a wonderful place, I can't say enough about it. Sarah Longacre has really hit something with what she's created there. She's a doula herself, having attended hundreds of births, and really understands the body and the birthing process. She is a phenominal yoga instructor, and very enocouraging of mama's to find their inner strength and wisdom for giving birth. I leave her classes feeling a little more empowered each time.

I feel I'm really ready - kind of excited, even - for the birth, thanks to yoga, the Bradley classes, and lots of research. I'm going to trust my body and my baby to do what is natural and whatever it is we're meant to do..together!

And, here's the bump at 28 weeks! Not much different than at 26, though I'm feeling much fuller, far earlier in the day. Once I start eating and drinking, I can really tell there's less room in there. Baby is continuing to move like crazy. Though, we did have a bit of a scare yesterday. Okay, I had a moment of paranoia that led me to realize just how overwhelmed I am by the idea of having this life depend on me. But my beautiful husband came through and helped me to calm down and not panic. I had been busy-busy for about a day and a half, hardly sitting long enough to really feel for Jellybean and watch my tummy like I typically do. I was convinced there was next to NO normal movement for close to 24 hours. Alas, today, baby is back in action.

The next time you see, or talk to, my husband, praise him for his patience and kindness, and tell him how wonderful a father he will be, for if he can deal with all my complaining about the above business (and then some - don't get me started on the heat!), and my weepy worrying, he'll shine as a parental unit.

26 Weeks

Almost in the third trimester (28 weeks), and still feeling pretty awesome! Belly is taking on a slightly different shape, at least this morning, as seen in the picture. I think the baby may be resting sideways, where it usually is up and down. Speaking of which, a few mornings ago, I was able to feel what I'm fairly certain was the head just above my naval. What a cool - and, slightly creepy - feeling!

This baby is so, so active most days, it's unbelievable! I've become almost obsessed with just watching my belly move in waves and bumps. I'm still in awe (and, perhaps always will be) that there's life in my belly.

We've had some nice visits with family and friends lately, and look forward to more.

Mike's mom came into town back on the 3rd and was with us for 6 days. She and I had lots of time to catch up and connect. Then, that Saturday, the 6th, mom and Jim came down for the day. Despite the horrible time trying to find an alternate route to the farmers market, due to construction, we had a very enjoyable visit. They brought us yet more baby stuff! We now have a little bathtub, and even more little onesies and jammies. Just this Friday evening, we went to a BBQ some friends were having, and were able to catch up with some good people. We've been terribly nonsocial lately, so it was nice to get out.

Next Friday, the 19th, Jacqui will be coming in from WI, house sitting for some folks for a week, so we'll have lots of time to catch up, including some time with our friend Jolene. I think it will be a great week! I really want to get out and continue visiting and being social as long as I'm comfortable and the weather stays tolerable. So, please, anyone, come visit or invite us to do things!! We'll welcome it.

Like I said, I'm feeling really good these days. I'm doing yoga (at Blooma - love that place!!) more regularly, and my wonderful husband is stepping up the motivational prompts to do my Bradley "exercises" (tailor sitting, squatting, kegels), all of which is going to aid tremendously in our intended natural birth. I'm also thinking of taking up the HypnoBirthing method, whether through a class or just picking up the book and some tapes.

We were back and forth, for a bit, about whether or not to do a home birth. We really want to, and have no fears about it, but we'd have to pay for it out of pocket. Insurance doesn't cover it (even though it's far less expensive!). With our debt and the fact that Michael's is the only income we have right now, we need insurance to cover as much as possible. We're definitely going to have a detailed birth plan going into the experience, however, so that our hospital (or birth center) will know what we're expecting (and, more importantly, what we're not expecting - check out this amazing documentary). I feel good about at least having a midwife, wherever we happen to be giving birth. However, I hate that it's luck of the draw, as far as who will be attending, as Fairview - being a hospital - has on call midwives just as they would on call docs, so it isn't up to us who we have. Regardless, I'm much more comfortable having a midwife than an OB. Also, we're fairly certain we'll be hiring a doula to assist. This is also not covered by insurance, but it's a cost we may be able to handle.

Babe's room is currently serving as office, as we're having some work done in the basement. I'm wishing we could just get in there and get things done. I can't wait to look in and see that it's all ready to welcome baby home. We have plenty of time, but it seems like things of this nature tend to creep up, and before we know it, we're scrambling. There's so much to do, - and to get! We haven't even begun buying diapers (cloth) and covers, but we may register for those at our favorite local shop, Twin Cities Green, where anyone can buy from their online site and we can pick it up ourselves at the store. We'll let everyone know when we've done that. We also need to get a car seat, a breast pump and supplies, a sidecar crib... We need to schedule tours of the hospital and see about birth centers, interview doulas, research further about vaccines; I need to take a breastfeeding class; we'd like to take child CPR and massage courses... Wow, it's a good thing our muffin isn't going to be here next week!

24 Weeks

Still going well! Despite the occasional - albeit, increasingly regular - heartburn and swelling of the feet, I feel great! I feel very "full" most days, so I'm sure baby is taking up more space in there.

I also feel more "blubbery". I know that's not a beautiful word to describe pregnant tummy, but that's how my mid section feels lately. I guess there's a little too much fat there or something. I'm sure it will all tighten up soon, with growth of baby. It's still the most beautiful shape my body has ever taken:) I'm also wondering if it's normal for my tummy to feel so low...and it feels low! When I'm sitting, it's in my lap, and when I'm standing, I feel like it needs to be lifted. (lack of stomach muscle, perhaps?) I don't know.

**Lots of folks say girls sit low, boys high... Guess we'll see**

I thought I'd share a series of impromptu pictures, that are different than our usual side profiles.

**I Heart Baby**

Inadvertently making a "heart" with my hands here. :)









**Woman Eats Too Many DingDongs**

I just look a little bloated from the front.

*Disclaimer: I've never had a dingdong in my life; but I do appreciate a good slice of cheesecake:)





**The Sexy One**

Hey, you can still see my hip bone! Oops, a little boob too.










I had thought I didn't have the "linea nigra" yet, but it appears I do have a light line below the naval. I wonder if that's all the darker it will get. I'm sure my body is going to go through a lot of changes very soon, not the least of which being those wonderful stretch marks (none yet!). Everything that happens to my body, in my mind, is worth it. I am growing a person after all:)

NAMES!

Michael and I have come up with a list of names we really like!

If it's a boy:
(it will have papa's middle name. Andrew has been the middle name for a few generations now)

William (we would not use the nicknames Willie or Bill)
Samuel (or, just Sam)
Gaius

If it's a girl:

Anna
Emilia
Helena (emphasis on the first syllable)

Middle names for girls (we) like (I say we, but Mike doesn't seem to have an opinion yet):

Christine
Josephine
Caroline

How strange...didn't realize, until just now, that the middle names all end in "ine". I realized the first names all end in "a", but...ha.

**feel free to comment on names, but please keep it positive; we don't need to know that someone you really don't like has one of these names. Thanks in advance**

23 Weeks

Happy Memorial Day! Hope everyone is enjoying some down time, whether productive or leisurely.

Michael and I have been very productive this weekend! Since he took Friday off, we've had 4 days to get our gardens going. And, boy, what a job! My husband has really amazed me with his abilities, his ingenuity and his dedication. Read all about what we're doing at my other blog.

Meanwhile, in the baby-growing category: We're at 23 weeks, and doing well. Other than some frustration in my inability to find/wear shoes that don't make my feet puff up, and some continued sleep discomfort, I feel great!! Baby is continuing to move about quite a bit. Though, I was a little concerned yesterday morning, because there seemed to be a lull in activity (from early the day before, until later morning), but I think it was just that I hadn't been sitting and relaxing, just waiting to feel movement, nearly as much as I had been. (since we've been so busy outside, and in, I've been up and moving more, and baby is definitely less mobile then)

I picked up a $5 crib (found through Craigslist) on Saturday, for which I just had to drive to Forest Lake. The finish isn't in great shape, and it may be a little bit of a project if I choose to repaint it, but as it is it's kind of "shabby chic", which could be cute in the baby's room.

Our neighbors gave us a stroller. It's quaint and light and folds up small (to fit in our wee car), so it's perfect. So kind and generous, our neighbors.

I woke up this morning at about 3:30 and couldn't get back to sleep, so I got up and started making lists. Now, I've always been a list maker, but wow - I have SO MUCH I want to get done before the babe comes. And, we'll be canning and freezing food regularly soon (started this weekend with some local rhubarb, asparagus, spinach and green onions)...

So, for now, back to work!

(P.S. Can't wait to get babe's room put together and post some pictures. We just need a few more things, like a rocking chair, a small chest of drawers and a table for next to the rocker; and then, of course, to put it all together)

(P.P.S. Did I look bigger last week? I had a feeling I was bit bloated, so I may have. Also, I just had to post the picture below: it's what I think I'd look like if I'd started out skinnier. I'm sucking my tummy in and sort of letting baby tummy drop down. So different!

22 Week Update

Goodness, what a difference from last Sunday! Considering we always get the picture in the morning, when I'm least bloated, this, I suppose, is pretty accurate. Slightly bloated perhaps, but I'm definitely starting to feel bigger. I can certainly see where yoga is going to fit in, soon, to help with the abdominal breathing...starting to find at certain times of the day, I have a hard time breathing deeply.

Hormones are raging, it seems. Not crying all the time (never did get to that stage), but very short-wired. Poor papa. Michael is, of course, taking it in stride. About the worst thing he can do, when I'm being a spazz, is tell me "It's OK. You're pregnant". That just makes me boil, because that seems to be the excuse for everything. But, that's just him showing that he knows this isn't "me", and reminding me (as well as himself, I'm sure) that I'm not in control of myself because of the hormonal swings. He deserves a medal.

Having some trouble sleeping due to hip tenderness..OK, pain. This has been an issue for a while, but it has me up several times a night to adjust. Switching from one side to the other doesn't really help when the side you're switching to is still sore from sleeping on it just a couple hours prior. I think one of those horrid eggcrate mattress pads is in my future. I hear it helps, and my chiropractor suggested it, so it's worth a try. If it's this bad now...

Baby is moving like crazy! If you read the last post, you know that papa is feeling it now, and that's a wonderful thing. I would be more than happy to let any of you feel baby if you're around when he/she is active. If you've never felt this before, you'll be blown away. Gosh, I can just imagine the feeling of actual "kicks" - though, I hear it can be quite painful, so we'll take this pleasant little fluttering (which feels like dancing upright on my bladder when really strong) and relish in it as much as we can.

Oh, and we found our first baby room item yesterday! A changing table. Not exactly my first choice, and we'll end up painting it, but it's sturdy and clean, and it was FREE! We went driving around Lake Harriet yesterday to get to Linden Hills CO-OP, and these folks had a bunch of leftover garage sale stuff sitting out labeled free. (I think it will be worth a weekly trip through this well-to-do neighborhood to see what is no longer "good enough" to these folks, but far from trash!)

**note to Anita: I think I remember you saying you had a changing table as well. I won't do anything to this table until I see yours. Plus, if yours comes home with us, this one would work just as well as a bar cart or something:) Hope to get to Brainerd very soon!!

A couple pictures, finally!

We still don't have the printer hooked up, so I haven't scanned the ultra sound pictures to the computer. But, I wanted to share a couple of the best pictures, so I took a picture of them. I think, even with that method, these are pretty good images.

Baby Hord was quite active during the procedure, but the tech was awesome and got a lot of really good pictures. She said it seemed baby was trying to suck its thumb, since it had hand to face over and over. So cute! (Hand-to-face is now pantomime for Baby Hord)

Oh!!! And, Michael felt the baby for the first time last night! Much anticipated by both of us, it was a pretty incredible moment. Then, later in the evening, he was quick to respond to my whole-body-twitch (common reaction of mine when baby is really goin' to town in there), and he felt it again, a few times in a row. It's just the most amazing thing ever. :)



I went garage sale-ing today and scored a lot of onesies and a few blankets. I love the gratification of buying baby stuff - you get a lot of stuff for cheap. I believe all the onesies were a quarter each - that's nothing! I'm really going to like this baby shopping business!

21 Weeks

21 weeks now, and tummy is definitely protruding! I noticed, just Thursday I think it was, how hard the sides of my abdomen are. And itchy, of course, so the skin is starting to stretch. I can see the inside of my belly button, which is foreign to me since there's always been just enough chub there to make it a deep one.

Some days baby is really, really active. Yesterday, I was convinced that if Michael had had his hand on a particular spot, he would have felt something, it was so strong! And, I woke up in the middle of the night to shift, put my hand on my belly and was pretty certain I could feel the little one from the outside. I could be imagining things, but I have a feeling it won't be long before proud papa is feeling babe move. He's waiting for it like children wait for their birthdays. :)

I just have to say, I have to be one of the luckiest women alive, in that my husband is having this baby with me. By that, I mean he's involved, he's excited, he's anxious, he's reading books and, most importantly, he's enthusiastic about our Bradley classes and the exercises involved. He helps me do my relaxation and strengthening exercises, especially when I just don't feel like it. He's concerned about keeping me stretched, limber and relaxed, always paying attention to my needs. He's definitely anticipating being able to feel his little one, and he's started talking to my tummy in the hopes that baby will start to recognize his voice. I almost feel guilty having someone so wonderful to share this experience with. I am truly blessed.

I apologize for not having the ultra sound pictures up yet. My dear husband has the computer set up now, but the printer/scanner is not yet hooked up, so I can't get the images onto the computer. As soon as I can, I will post. I'm still amazed, every time I look at those pictures, that I'm looking at a real, live, little human being, growing right there in my belly. I'm just in awe. Since our phone was just hooked up on Wednesday, and the doctor probably tried to call with results but couldn't get through, I called Fairview on Thursday to check in. According to a nurse, everything checks out good (...exhale). We'll get official results by mail.

The prenatal checkup was quick and easy. Blood pressure checked out good, baby's heart rate is normal (still at about 150), and I'm measuring normally from the outside of the belly. I have gained more weight than I'd like, but the midwife says I (baby) did have a huge growth spurt in the 4 weeks since she last saw me. I'm thinking, too, that with the packing and moving and getting settled, I consumed a lot of calories by eating on the go and eating out for most meals. So glad to be back into some normalcy, and I wouldn't be surprised if my weight is down this week simply because last week's meals were nutritous, whole foods - prepared by me - and packed full of protein. I feel lighter today than I did last Monday. I'm not too worried about it.

I was a little concerned about some swelling I was experiencing in my feet last week. My midwife suggested a B vitamin supplement, and I've been religious about that, as well as taking in plenty of fluids, and resting as much as I'm on my feet. All of these things seem to be helping, since I've not had too much of a problem in several days. It really is a delicate balance, for me anyway, to be sure and not stand or walk for extended periods of time and to take in the right amount of nutrients and fluids. But, I think I've got it down now. Plus, like I said above, withe the move came a lot of less than ideal eating, so I'm sure that had a lot to do with my body being out of balance.

Otherwise, nothing new to report, other than the fact that I'm just amazed at how at peace I feel about everything. At this point, I feel really strong and confident about the labor/delivery process, and I'm really enjoying this part of my pregnancy. Looking pregnant and feeling baby move, and an overall sense of anticipation to see this little person, is a wonderful feeling. Of course, there's lots to do yet, and if I allow myself to, I'll stress about it. But, I have to not allow myself to, partially because I have to keep Michael from over-stressing. It's dificult, when there's so much involved, to just take it one step at a time. But I have to remind him that we do have some time, we will get it done. And, to just breathe. (guess I have to play the coach sometimes)