Pictures

Just a reminder to head over to Mike's Picasa site to see pictures. I'm trying to upload often, so that everyone can see how quickly Charlotte is changing and growing.

The Family Bed

We share our bed with Charlotte. She's been there since the second week of her life, and it works out pretty splendidly. Save for transitional times (growth spurt!) or when she has a cold, we all sleep pretty well together. Mind you, this isn't easy right from the start and it does take some sacrifice.

But it is SO worth it! The first time I slept next to my baby girl, it was magical. We both awoke refreshed, and there really isn't any way to explain what it's like to see that beautiful face first thing when I open my eyes. Of course I was nervous, the first, second, third time. But I very quickly understood the natural instincts we have as mothers, and my confidence began to grow. It still took several weeks to figure out how to lay, what method of covering myself up worked (our bedroom doesn't maintain a temperature for anything) and how to night nurse lying down. That latter hurtle has saved us many, many nights of baby waking completely, just to snack and fall back asleep.

Of course, there's all kinds of controversy and so many opinions on this issue. I'm not going to go into it all here, except to say that all safety measures are taken into account, so not to worry there. We don't drink heavily (I have had two small glasses of wine, total, in the whole 3 months of her life thus far; and Michael doesn't drink anywhere near bedtime), we don't use drugs, we don't smoke, we don't wear bulky clothing or use large, overstuffed bedding and there's nothing for her to get wedged into/between. I firmly believe in mother's instincts in the "rolling over" argument.

This works for us. It will work for us until Charlotte is ready to sleep elsewhere (and, no, it won't be when she's 15; children wean themselves naturally when they're ready - if they're not ready, there's a reason, and it's not because they're "spoiled").

What I know is this: I sleep better knowing that Charlotte is breathing, comfortable and safe. I like knowing that I may just be saving her life by being in-tuned to her breathing patterns, and will therefor wake up if she stops breathing (who know, perhaps I have/do). I don't have to get up in the night to feed her, which means we hardly wake up at all, which means better sleep for both of us.

Don't get me wrong. Like I said in the first paragraph, it's not easy at first. We're still figuring out how warm the room should be, how warmly dressed Charlotte needs to be, how confident papa is about sleeping next to her (we're getting closer), and so on. And, this last week or two has been rough, because she's had nasal congestion, which means more night fussing. But that would happen if she were in her crib. This way, we can comfort her immediately. If the comforting and consoling doesn't work, we have long nights. But a baby with a cold will give you long nights anyway. I'm convinced that her lying next to me, nursing as she needs to (which has also increased during this miserable time), is helping her get over this and feel better.

(for the record, just about a month ago, Charlotte's sleep schedule started looking like this: to sleep around 10 (she has made it well known that this is her bed time, and not a minute earlier), sleeps until 3 or 4, nurses for a bit and falls back to sleep, wakes anywhere from 5:30-6:30 to nurse again, and then sleeps until 7 or 8; so, waking up twice, essentially, but really sleeping for 9 hours overall. Works for me!)

Big Ol Baby Diaper Butt

Have you ever seen a baby's butt in a cloth diaper? For some reason, it's really cute, all over-sized and super-padded. Plus, you can pat, pat, pat the butt and not feel bad about it. In fact, most kids love it.

We've been using cloth diapers from day one, and have tried a few different ones. I had no idea how many different "types" there were out there. I thought, "Cloth is cloth, what's the mystery?". Boy, was I wrong.

This is my review of the different types of diapers we've used (and we've only tried a few). I wanted to do this for those who would like to try cloth, but have yet to. Perhaps you're pregnant and feel as strongly as we did, early on, about using them. To be honest, I'm tired of the whole diaper thing already, and can completely understand someone wanting to switch to disposables. Which is why I've included a segway to "EC-ing" at the end. Keep reading to find out what that is.

(However understanding I am of the desire to use disposables, it's my opinion that one should at least TRY cloth; it is smarter on the pocketbook, healthier for baby and nicer on our earth - hands down)

G Diapers
Our initial introduction to "cloth" was the G Diaper. I was attracted to this brand, at first, for their disposable "inserts" that get flushed down the toilette. Yep, flushed right down. Cool, right? Well, they aren't the easiest things to flush - you have to rip apart the insert and flush one part and then the other, all the while using the "swish stick" attached to the toilette to help break it down. Not a bad alternative to the standard disposable, just not practical. I was really excited, however, when I learned that this company was offering washable cloth inserts. Since we had already bought the "G pants" and liners, I was happy knowing that we could use either the disposable or the cloth inserts with them. If you're unfamiliar (as I was) with the terms: the "pants" are basically a cloth "over" pant that Velcros onto baby and covers the liner; the "liner" snaps into the pant and holds the insert in place; the "insert" is what gets pooed and peed on. In my opinion, neither the cloth nor the disposable insert worked great. The cloth didn't absorb much at all, so if it got peed on once, the next pee or a poo just ran right off. Yuk. The disposable inserts were better for absorption, as disposables usually are, but still not great. The downside, altogether, is that Charlotte outgrew the pants very quickly. They come in graduating sizes and we started with the small, of course. They were a bit too big for her as a newborn (and didn't leave room for the stub, of course), and very quickly became too small in the waist. The next size would have fit her waist, but not her legs (a problem we have with any diaper, it seems). They're just too expensive to be buying the next size that quickly.
My grade for G Diapers: C+

Fuzzi Bunz
We received 5 pairs of the Fuzzi Bunz brand cloth diapers as gifts from family. I'm glad we didn't buy them ourselves, especially as many as we would have needed. Babies eliminate A LOT the first few months (I had no idea!) and we went through these far too quickly. They do absorb quite well, but we had two problems with these: they leak out the legs, since - like I said - Charlotte's legs are too small for diapers to fit properly, it seems. Especially since she's a side sleeper. For some reason, the snapping system just didn't adjust well enough to be snug around her legs without being then too snug at the waist. Perhaps I just wasn't using them correctly. Regardless, they didn't work for us. Plus, they kind of smelled after a couple of uses.
My grade for Fuzzi Bunz: B-

Tri-Fold
These are the traditional cloth diapers, which get pinned or snapped on, and used with a cover of some sort. This is what we're using currently, and probably will until Charlotte is out of diapers (unless we are successful with the EC method, in which case we'll get a special type of diaper system). We were very fortunate that a friend gifted us the first 12 weeks of diaper service. We had every intention of cleaning the diapers ourselves, if we had decided to go with cloth, but I'm quite glad we didn't have to do that - especially - in the first few weeks. With all the other new things that come with the new parenting experience, not to mention all the laundry we were doing by using washable wipes, reusable breast pads and burp cloths, it was a relief not to have to wash 80 diapers a week. The trouble with these was finding the right cover. Not to mention just how best to secure them to the baby bottom. We used the Snappi closure for a while, but Charlotte outgrew the baby size, and we've since just found a way to do without it, or pins (we've never even tried pins). The diaper service (Do Good Diapers, btw; awesome folks!) lent us some Proraps covers, and those worked fine for a while. Once Charlotte was getting bigger and "sitting" more (in my arms, in the bouncy seat, and practicing sitting up), this cover's front got to be to high on the tummy and there isn't nearly enough flexibility in the waist. We found the Thirsties brand at Pea Pods in St. Paul, and those seem to be a better fit. Though, as with all covers, there's a size range, and Charlotte is very quickly moving from one size to the next. This isn't a "cheap" process, trying to figure out what works. I've yet to do the math, but I'm sure we're still coming out ahead of using disposables...especially with our super-efficient-eliminator of a baby, and with the fact that if we were using disposables, we would choose (and DO choose, for being out and about) Seventh Generation diapers for the chlorine-free factor. All said, the good ol' cloth diapers are great. One negative, once you've figured out which cover works best and how to fold and secure them, is that they absorb about 2 potties' worth before they're soaked, so you do go through a lot of them. On the plus side, as with all cloth diapers, you're less likely to experience diaper rash, and it's just a good thing knowing that nothing is next to baby's skin that shouldn't be.
My grade for tri-fold diapers: B+

Now, to get on with the business of EC-ing. Elimination Communication is a really interesting and exciting (at least to me) thing I read about in the beginning of this parenting experience, but have just recently looked seriously into. I was inspired when I met someone the other day who said they've been doing it with their 18-month old since she was 2 weeks old, and they've had to wash something like 5 diapers due to poo. 5! This amazing thing is pretty much what it sounds like. It's not potty-training, per se, because you're not training the baby to use the potty, so much as you're training yourself to read cues that the baby naturally sends to you that she has to eliminate. You then put her over the potty and she goes. Eventually, she'll get that that's where she goes, and she won't even want to go in a diaper. This is something they do all over the world, namely in tribal communities for obvious reasons. Check out this video of Maggie Howell taking about it. I watched it on Thursday and gave it a try. Charlotte peed the very first time we tried it. The second time, she peed and pooped. It's quite inspiring to see it happen so easily. Now the challenge is to start reading her cues and catch it more often than not, and eventually every time. And then, hopefully sooner than later, she'll know that mama will get her to potty when she needs to go. When she's walking, perhaps she'll be walking to the potty herself. I'm very excited about this process! This blog is very inspiring. I'll keep you posted on our progress.


Charlotte on her big girl potty

**Must state a warning here, for I had to learn this on my own: If you're ever going to try this (and this may be in a book I've yet to read, oops), be careful not to spread baby's butt too much when holding her/him over potty. I didn't even realize I was doing this, and Charlotte ended up with a tiny tear that lead to blood in her stool, which was a bit scary until we went to the Dr. and she saw what was wrong. Not a big deal, but I feel really bad, and the last thing I want to do is create any reason for Charlotte to associate this experience with pain**

"Play Dates"

Getting out of the house with babe is essential to sanity. I've known this all along, but am only beginning to understand its power, and actually doing it. But, getting THIS baby out of the house is quite a task! Getting dressed: horrid! Getting strapped into the car seat: horrendous!

You would think she was a cow being taken to slaughter. "NOOOO! I know where you're taking me, and I don't want any part of it."

Only, once we get to where we're going, she absolutely loves it! She is at the stage where strangers are interesting (they almost always get a charming, cheeky grin), and she loves the visual stimulation of being someplace different.

Today we went to Parenting Oasis. A mama/psychiatrist put together a place for mama's and babes to go, to simply get together and chat, or for more specific things like classes and the like. It's in the basement of a church, conveniently located (for us) at 39th and Chicago.

To be honest, it wasn't what I was expecting. I made a point to get to this one today because, on their website, it was supposedly a "new mom" thing: from 12 to 1, every Tuesday, drop-in, new moms come and talk and get support. Upon my arrival, I could see it was just a place for kids to run crazy and moms to sit and b.s. All well and good, just not what I was expecting. One nice thing happened, however: I met a really nice lady named Michelle, who has an 18 month old. Michelle says that her little one has never been an "easy" baby, and is only now starting to get easier. We exchanged phone numbers and I look forward to talking with Michelle in the near future, especially when I'm having a tough time with Charlotte and need to talk to someone who has been there.

Feeling adventurous today, we hit up another playdate in the afternoon. This one was put on by Minneapolis Hip Mama's, a group I've recently joined. I'm really glad we ventured out again, despite baby girl's attitude in the morning. I met a couple more awesome ladies and got to check out Sovereign Grounds, a coffee shop pretty close to home which has a kid's play area - perfect for mama's to get together with kids in tow. I'll definitely be doing the Hip Mama's events in the future.

A Man Very Much in Love

I see the beginning of the end.

The end of mama being the only person who can comfort baby girl, who can hold her "the right way", who can prompt a big, cheeky grin.

But one end means the beginning of something else equally wonderful, and that is the relationship between her and her papa.

It's a beautiful thing, and it's happening right before my eyes.

Happy Solstice.

What if...

What if you said "No" to it all. All the holiday "stress", which is mostly (if not entirely) brought on by consumerism. It can be let go if you choose.

I realize it isn't easy. If you already have children, you've probably already created for them "the magic of Christmas" by giving them gifts, introducing them to the idea of Santa Claus and allowing your parents and other relatives to dote upon them with a plethora of toys and other items of temporary gratification- most of which will be used/worn/eaten once, and thrown to the side while they await "the next one". That's not to say that you're a bad parent, or that I'm criticizing you, because of this...because you've "given in" to the mass-consumer mindset. It's been there your entire life. What else is there? Christmas=gifts.

Yeah, yeah. It's about "giving, not receiving". (though, is that really the lesson your kids are learning?) "Christmas is for the kids"....the kids who already have everything they need, and usually get what they want, as well, the rest of the year? (insert "help the needy" rant here)

I realize this is coming off as criticism and judgment, but what I'm really trying to do is ask the question(s). As a parent, I'm now faced with these choices. What sort of individual do I want my daughter to be as a result of her upbringing, and how can I positively influence her while in my care? I don't believe that by not giving her gifts at Christmas, that I'm denying her or depriving her of this "magical time". I really don't. Trying to get others (namely, grandparents) to understand this is already a challenge, and I see that it's only going to bring more challenges along the way. But, it's something we take quite seriously, our desire to reduce the consumer mindset in our household, and so we're ready for these challenges.

What do you think?

Parenthood...for real?

Wow. I haven't (really) written anything since that first week. What a ride it has been! Charlotte is now 14 weeks (15 this Friday) and we are 14 week old parents. I have to keep reminding myself of that latter fact when I just don't feel like I'm doing a very good job, which is more often than I'd like. It hasn't been easy, for obvious - and not so obvious reasons.

Obviously, being new parents presents challenges. Michael had NO experience with children before this, and I had barely a bit more than that. We have had to learn how to soothe her, how to feed her (what, you don't just stick the boob in?!), how to change her diaper (we're using cloth, which presents its own challenges), etc. But, Charlotte isn't just a baby. It seems (and even her pediatrician has observed this) she is a fairly "high need" baby. For those in the know, you may be thinking, "Yep. Been there. Continued luck with that.". For those who don't know, here's a good explanation by Dr. Sears. Read that; that pretty much sums up our little bundle of joy.



She is getting better. Turning a corner so to speak. And that's a relief. She's certainly waking up to the world around her, which brings more smiles to her face. She's using her arms, legs, hands and neck to navigate and manipulate, and that means she's using up some of that stored energy, and that's a very good thing!

I guess it's taken me this long to finally get something written here because I didn't want to write as if this parenting thing isn't beautiful and heavenly, which it's "suppose to be" (right?). Well, it isn't, and I was feeling guilty about feeling this way about it. But, a blog is - in my opinion - about being honest. Why else write one, and put it out there for everyone to read? Don't get me wrong: having Charlotte is life changing, and she makes us so very happy. I just don't think enough people are honest about how much work it is. Oh, you hear it all the time: "It's so much work, but it's sooo worth it!". But that's it. Nobody ever says, "Yeah, I don't know what the hell we were thinking".

So here it is. Honesty in my blog from here on out. You will, of course, hear about all of the wonderful things happening to us because of this incredible little creature, but you'll also hear about how many more gray hairs I've found since September (only had two - TWO - prior to this), how coffee and Coke (nectar of the gods) have more or less replaced my usual water and tea, and how, by the end of the day, I look forward to sleeping more than anything else. More than sex, more than eating, more than checking my Google reader. Sleep. The sweet release of 2, 3 or 4 hours in a row...IN A ROW! (Whoot)

I hope you look forward to hearing about parenthood on the REAL side of things, because I'm looking forward to writing about it. Until next time, I'll go wash up some dishes and you go enjoy yourself, hanging out at a coffee shop for endless hours or hopping in your car on a whim and heading on down the road. :)

Happy 6 Week Anniversary of Your Birthday!

You are more than we could have ever expected! More of a treat, more of a challenge, but most of all, we love you more than either of us could have ever imagined loving another person.

We sure love you, sweet potato!

A Brand New Life

The wait is over - we are finally proud and happy parents!!!


Charlotte Olivia Hord came into our life this last Friday, September 11th (9 days to "due" date), at 5:24 pm. Weighing a healthy 8 lbs. 6 oz., and measuring 20" long, she was the picture of health and strength - as evident by her scream upon arrival, and continued signs of her "personality". ;-)



(let it be known, mama's intuition came through - early, and a girl, is what I was predicting)

This really should be a long and detailed post, but I haven't the time or the energy. I promise more details later..and, of course, more pictures.

But, I'd like to brag about my amazing husband - how wonderfully committed, and strong, and caring my prince was - and continues to be...how beautiful as well as handsome he is to me this day...how he continues to prove to be the man I married - and then some. Since the official "start" of labor, at 12:30 am Friday morning, Michael came through in every way imaginable. As well as in ways I never would have dreamed. That day, Michael changed as a man. Labor hit a button, and - I mean it when I say this - he became who he was meant to be. A father. I owe to him this beautiful experience.

More to come. For now, wish us luck in our first week as a family!

Weekly Mama Meditation

From The Tao of Motherhood:


Influence

Right Mothering is honored from
generation to generation. Like an
old tree with untold roots, it holds
firm through countless storms.

Behave toward yourself with
loving kindness, and serenity
will emanate from you

When you are serene,
your life is in order.

When your life is in order,
you family is harmonious.

Your family affects your
community. Your community
influences your culture.
Your culture influences the world.

How do I know?

Just by looking around.

Labor Day!!

...oi, I wish!

We're 38 weeks now, and these next couple (or 4...) are going to be long ones - assuming Jellybean waits that long. A part of me still feels like this is going to happen early, despite the fact that I've had NO signs of impending labor. Not even a Braxton Hicks contraction (at least not to my knowledge) much less the passing of "the plug" or anything else...

I'm sure my uterus has been contracting, getting ready, but I'm not feeling it. Or, I'm feeling it and mistaking it for gas. Whatever the case, I'm still Just Pregnant.

Just Pregnant meaning: carrying around what feels like a beach ball filled with water; feet and ankles ALWAYS swollen, which hurts (have you ever had your skin stretched to its capacity? Ouch.); fingers practically inoperable most days (but I push them anyways - too much to do); and so, so, so tired. I don't "do" tired well. I'm cranky (bless my prince of a husband - he's still here!!) and my face looks like it's melting into my neck, it's so droopy.

Oh, and have I mentioned, I have two chins?!

Another thing I experienced recently, which I'm assuming was brought on by the onslaught of pregnancy hormones and the changes happening in my body, is an ocular migraine. If you've never had one, check out the link- so you at least won't freak out and call your husband, sounding frantic, convinced you're losing your eyesight.

I apologize for the pissiness. I'm just really to the point where I'd like my body back, and my baby out here with me...

On a happy note, my very dear friend Andrea came for a visit this weekend. It was so nice to hang out and just be in each others' "energy" again. It had been far too long!! Not only was it my wedding (last October) that I last saw her, the last few times I've seen her have been such hurried and busy visits. This was a nice, nearly 2 day visit with no place to be or anything to really "do", and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Our good friend, Meredith, joined us for Renaissance Festival yesterday, and the three of us hung out into the evening. Despite the fact that Michael and I had a lot of canning to do (thanks, girls, for peeling peppers and tomatoes!!), I was still able to sit and visit quite a bit. It was really wonderful.

This week will be a busy one. Besides the last few things we need to do around the house to ready for JB's arrival, we're taking a breastfeeding class and a CPR class. Looks like we'll also have a "last minute, late housewarming, see you all in a few months when we've gotten some sleep, co-ed shower" type thingy. We figure once it's baby time, we'll be M.I.A. for a while, and we'd like to get friends (and local fam) together one last time before then. We never did end up having a housewarming party, so a lot of folks haven't even been to our house yet. AND, we are still in need of some things before babe comes (registry items, frozen meals, etc.). This will be an opportunity for all of those things to come together. We certainly hope as many people can come as possible.

I have to send a special shout out to our friends Kelly and Jason for their generous gift! They have provided us with our first 12 weeks of diaper service!! (from Do Good Diapers) Knowing that we would be going the cloth route, they had delivered last week a heaping diaper can of cloth diapers along with the knowledge (and relief) that - for at least the first 3 months of parenthood - we won't have to wash poopy diapers. What an incredible gift - many, many thanks to you guys, again!!!

Well, that's all for now. See you here (or here) next weekend!

Links to registries: Target and Twin Cities Green

Mama Meditation - Week 37

(late again...this should have gone up Sunday)

From The Tao of Motherhood:

Relax

First time mothers read all the
books and cling to theories and
gadgets.

Fifth time mothers have taken it
all in and let it sink into the
unconscious. Equipment has worn
out and the child is given wooden
spoons and the easy company of
present-focused people.

The youngest child is usually the
most relaxed.

And, 37 weeks....

Eeshk! I have no idea where that word came from, but I've been saying it a lot over the past few months. That word, whatever it means, pretty much sums up how I'm feeling lately, just by the sound of it. Between the size of this belly inhibiting me (bending over to put shoes on, not to mention clipping the toenails - eeshk!), and the fact that growing baby is making it more difficult to breathe (and putting lots of pressure on the bladder/urethra/vagina - eeshk!), along with the never ending list of things to do (freezing and canning food for the Winter, finding a pediatritian, finishing the deep cleaning, finishing JB's room - EESHK!)....

Well, the to do list doesn't seem to end (on the contrary, it seems to grow), but thank goodness for this cooler weather!! I feel a bit more energized since Saturday, when it cooled off significantly (especially overnight), so I feel confident this week will be the week to plow through that list (with plenty of breaks, of course; don't worry, I'm well aware of my limits).

One "downer" this week: my test for Group B Strep came back positive. Apparently it's not uncommon for a pregnant woman to be carrying this bacteria, and it's a common enough bacteria in women in general that if all women were tested on a regular basis throughout their lives, each one of us would test positive at some point or another. It's just a bacteria that lives in either the gut, the rectum or the vagina, and there is no known cause. It's not an STD or anything preventable. It's just there. And I'm currently a carrier. Which means there's a slim chance I could pass it to baby during delivery. If that happens, there's a slim chance baby could become infected and get sick. Slim chances or not, it's recommended that an IV of antibiotics be administered during labor. I'm looking into it, however, and plan to have a lengthy discussion with my midwife this week. The hope, of course, is to not be "hooked up" and medicated during delivery. But, if it turns out our research leads us to err on the side of caution, that's what will have to be done. So be it.

Oh, and did I mention I'm a duplex? ;-) Look at that tummy!! Anyone else with me on the early arrival bet? If I had to guess, I would say this baby is easily full term, in terms of size. And, oh boy, is he/she going to have an appetite! I hope my breasts can keep up!!

Jellybean's room is so, so close to done!! Just a couple more things to do/get and I'll have pictures posted here. If I can brag about anything, it's that the room, along with all of the "stuff" for welcoming baby home, has been accomplished on the cheap. It hasn't always been easy, and it may not be "ideal", but it's getting done, and done inexpensively. That makes me feel good. Plus, doing it this way, as opposed to running out and shopping like crazy at all the "baby stores", has made the room more unique and personal. I'm very happy about the fact that I had a vision and I followed through, especially when it came to sewing. Being an amateur sewer (at best) I think things turned out pretty well.

Speaking of which...I should be off. Should get things done while the fingers work and I can still make out that I have ankles.

Doin' The Happy Mama Dance!

Prenatal visit went superbly today! And, oh what a relief. I tend to worry myself (if you know me, you're not surprised). I got it into my head that - certainly - my blood pressure was high, because I was getting exhausted more easily and feeling rushes to my heart, and the swelling in my feet has become pretty regular. Then, I got to thinking, "That's it, I'll go in and they'll tell me my BP is high and there's protein in my urine, and diagnose me preeclamptic". Alas, once again, worry over nothing...



*Urine: good

*Blood pressure: within normal

*Pricked finger for one last hemoglobin test: no worries there

*Group B Strep: still out, fingers crossed (wouldn't be a big deal; just don't want to deal with it come delivery time)

*Fetal heart rate (normal is 120-160): 150-160

*Fetal growth: good

*Baby's head is down (hoorah!!...now stay that way, Jellybean)

Now we're scheduled to have a prenatal visit every week...and there's only 3 more visits scheduled before the "due date"! I feel confident everything will continue to go well.

The Name Game

So it's settled...to a point.

If JB is a boy:

William Andrew Hord

If JB is a girl:

Charlotte _________ Hord

Middle name possibilities for Charlotte:

Caroline
Christine
Olivia
Anne

Any suggestions or opinions? All are welcome!

Mama Meditation - Week 36

From The Tao of Motherhood:

Surrender

Truth is in paradox:

Surrender and you get
everything. Bend and be strong.

When you reach your limit and
are exhausted, new energy rises
in you. When you release
others, they come to you.
The wise know this: Let go
in order to preserve.

Be empty and fulfilled.

36 Weeks...

...and feeling very, very, very pregnant! Especially the last few days, with Jellybean riding higher (backside is farther above my naval, getting bigger for sure, and being pressed out against my abdomen constantly). I think we've got a very strong little person in there! If it's not my abdomen (feels bruised most days), it's my bladder - the pressure on which is getting to be almost constant. Walking, just a mere block or two, is getting to be a challenge. (I won't even mention how hilarious it is to watch me get my socks and shoes on) And I just feel so big, the skin so tight. Oi.

(BTW: I look bigger in last week's post, but I think I feel bigger this week because baby is longer, reaching up closer to my rib cage; I'm positive we've had a growth spurt this week...but I may have said that last week...)

I guess this is where the end of pregnancy starts to really get exhausting, and where most women start to just want the baby here already. I certainly do. Besides the impatience to just meet him/her, I'm just really tired. All the time. Getting up to pee every two hours in the night - and I made it a point to notice, last night, that I do in fact wake up completely every time - makes mid days feel like midnights used to.

Next prenatal is Wednesday, and I'm really looking forward to it. I'm a little nervous about my blood pressure, with all the swelling. It's just altogether too easy these days to get puffy, and it's usually normal in pregnancy - unless accompanied by high blood pressure. I just want to know it's ok. Then, we should be having prenatal visits, I believe, every week until delivery. Everything else has been so good to this point, I'll just feel better having the BP check and the UA every week.

Just think: JB could be here in as little as 2 weeks...and we could be as far out as 6. Michael and I have a little bet going. I say early - nothing specific, just early; he says Sept. 22nd. If you've read The Hobbit, you know that that's Bilbo's birthday, and that's Michael's reasoning. He has referred to JB as Little Baggins from time to time, almost since the beginning. And, if you've seen me lately I could almost pass as a hobbit myself, between the huge club feet and super-wavy hair. I'm just a little too tall...

Anyway. Nothing else to report, except that we're pretty close to ready for all of this to happen. The house is getting in order (have just a few things to finish in JB's room), we're canning and freezing in hopes to have stuff to eat this Winter (though, we need to start freezing some actual meals, soups, etc.), and there isn't too much we need in terms of baby gear. I've had to loosen up on my to-do list, as I'm physically just not able to do much in any one given day, but that's ok. Nothing is too pressing - just wanted it done so that I wouldn't have to think about it later. But, I'm sure I won't be thinking about too much else once our little one is here. We may have a last minute, housewarming/co-ed shower if we can pull it together and JB isn't too early. Will keep everyone posted.

Oh, and I have the BEST husband ever. EVER. I don't care what any of you think, your husband doesn't hold a candle to this guy. ;-)

We are registered

We are now registered at Target (a whopping 3-item list!) and at Twins Cities Green. There are a couple of large ticket items at Target (car seat and breast pump), so we're hoping some folks can find a way to go in on gifts together. And, like with our wedding, we'd love it if as many people as possible can make purchases online and have it shipped to us, and avoid the wrapping paper. It may be easier to do that, anyway, with friends and family not being right here in Minneapolis, especially for Twin Cities Green (we can pick up at the store, so that saves you shipping costs as well!).

Once again, please don't feel obligated to gift! And, if you deviate from the registries, we ask that new items be organic and fair trade where possible. Of course, we'd love it if anyone feels so inclined to pick up items second hand, to go ahead and do so (we trust you'll see that it is relatively clean, from a smoke-free home, etc.). As mentioned in a previous post, the gift of time is a wonderful one too. Oh, and frozen meals (don't forget desserts!).

Thanks, everybody!!

Weekly Mama Meditation

(Oops, I forgot this on Sunday)

From The Tao of Motherhood

Love

Parenting is at times confusing.
There will be moments when you
truly do not know. Should you
exert your authority or step back?
Should you give advice or remain
silent? Should you offer help or
allow a mistake to be made?

When you cannot see what is
happening, relax and look gently
with your inner eye. The harder
you try to take hold of a situation,
the more difficult it becomes.


Let go. Trust in the Way
which follows its own flow.

Allow the Great to live in you
and work through you
for your child's greater good.

Return to the core: a relationship
of love is more worthwhile than
a philosophical position. When
doubt arises, give way only
to love.

It's a biggun'!

35 weeks, and this baby is already fully grown, I'm convinced of it! Can I really get bigger?? If Jellybean waits until our "due date", that's yet another 5 weeks away. At a 1/2 pound a week, I'll be a duplex! (I'm sure veteran preggos everywhere would hear this and nod along, remembering how they thought the same thing). Including a second picture this time, this one at a different angle, so you can see just how bulbous this tummy is. With Michael being born at 9 lbs. and myself at 9 1/2, we're not expecting a small baby at the end of this, for sure.

Seriously, though, we cannot wait to meet Jellybean! I, at least, feel as if I know this little person already. As if all the moving around has given me some insight into his/her personality. Still, though, I just want to see and hold this little monkey...TODAY. Oi, it's going to be a long few weeks.

Puffy feet and ankles, and carpal tunnel syndrome..still the name of the game here. Otherwise, I'm just exhausted. Doesn't take doing much at all, and I just crash. And so much yet to do around the house...

JB's room is getting closer to done. I forgot how much work it is to do this stenciling technique I had done once before. The fingers really don't allow me to do much at one time, so it's taking a while. Mike's mom came to visit this weekend, and brought with her some wonderful family pieces to add to the room (or, somewhere; that room isn't very big...then again, this house isn't, so we'll have to get creative): a beautiful wooden cradle, a child's rocker and a vintage red wagon-car-thingy. Pretty cool.

I hit a garage sale this week, and made out like a bandit. A co sleeper crib has been on the list for a while now, and we just weren't finding one for less than $80 (used). We got one for $60! I also scored a "moses basket" which lies between us in bed for babe to sleep in, along with a boppy pillow, a Maya Wrap baby sling, a few more blankets and a ton more newborn onesies.

Names! We have settled on a boy's name, at least: William Andrew. Williams abound on both sides of our family, but it's particularly special because Michael's grandfather was William. (nicknames NOT to include Bill or Billy; possibly Will or Liam) Girl's names, on the other hand, are proving to be more difficult to narrow down. In fact, I added another one to the mix just the other day, and it's really starting to grow on both of us: Charlotte. We're fairly certain that regardless of the first name, the middle will be Caroline (in homage to my recently-passed Grandma).

Next prenatal is a week from this coming Wednesday. Fingers are crossed that pee and blood are free and clear!

Until the next post, take care and thanks for checking in!

The Baby Belly Has A Face

...and boobs, and arms, and...

Yes, there is a whole person attached to that big belly:)

I had been thinking, a few weeks ago, that perhaps I should post a picture of me - as consisting of more than just a baby belly. When a friend suggested I do just that, I figured it was time. See, the purpose of the pictures is to show the growth of the belly and therefor the baby, and you don't need to see my tired face and raggedy hair in my Sunday morning posts. If I had started doing that early on, you would have felt sorry for me, thinking that this pregnancy was really taking its toll and that perhaps I shouldn't have done this to myself. My husband is the only one who gets to see me like that, because he thinks I'm beautiful even then, bless his heart.

Alas, here's a picture of the pregnant mama, as a whole person:


Note: the thighs have been cut off and left obscure for good reason. When I gain weight, I gain it there. And you can believe that the majority of my pregnancy gain (almost 30 lbs so far!) is in those thighs!

A Sneak Peek

Jellybean's room is very nearly complete. Though, like I've said before, I have many more things I'd like to do, but I may have to stop myself. Even without doing those things, I'm pretty happy with how things are turning out.

As you can see in the picture, we still need an actual changing pad to make this cool old dresser into a changing table (registered for at Target; see post to come). There is visual space to the left above it, as it's awaiting Papa's origami butterfly mobile. (I promise a better picture once complete; this dresser is really charming).

And, of course, here's the crib I referred to, while painting it, as my Everest. It was not easy, and it took a lot more time than I thought it would, but it's finished. And I love it! So much better than the white. As you can see, there is a mattress, but no bedding yet. We are registered for a pad and sheets, but I'm going to try my hand at sewing up some bumper pads and a skirt.

That's all you get for now!

34 Weeks!!

Goodness...34 weeks we've been incubating. Kind of hard to believe it's been that long. We've now got anywhere from 4 to 8 weeks left, and I'm putting my money on sooner, rather than later, for delivery. Not just because I want so badly to meet this little Jellybean...I'm calling it Mama's Intuition. However soon or late, though, it will be the right time - on Jellybean's schedule. Which is what we'll be living by from now on, I suppose, won't we? ;-)

As far as how this very pregnant lady is feeling these days..pretty much the same as the last month or so. Really, really good with a few exceptions. Those few exceptions, having everything to do with fluid retention, are definitely getting amplified, but I'm learning to live with them. I guess it's true what they say: anything is tolerable, as long as it's temporary, and everything is temporary. Like my chiropractor and midwives keep telling me: "It will all go away once you deliver". Right. And I'll look like a million bucks again. ;-)

I'm starting to realize how much I'm going to miss being pregnant. It's such an amazing bond I feel, having this little one right there all the time, that it's sure to be a somewhat difficult transition once The Bean is out here with us. I know motherhood is going to bring all kinds of wonderful bonding opportunities, and that I'll be so in love with this little angel that I'll forget about it before I know it. I'm just going to cherish this time as much as I can while it's still here.

I want to start posting, weekly, a passage from this wonderful book I picked up back in the first trimester, The Tao of Motherhood. I'm going to open the book randomly and share with you what it says. Here's this week's, and thanks for reading my blog as always!!

Feminine

Mother is the feminine principle.
She represents the yin, the anima,
the receptive, the earth.
Though she must at times take
the role of the masculine principle,
it is the feminine which gives
her power and from which
she draws her strength.

She teaches her daughters to
respect their feminine nature.
She teaches her sons to respect
their feminine side and thus
all women.

The truly feminine mother
never cringes or defers.
Her strength is unshakable,
like the earth upon which we
walk but which can topple us
with a single deep breath.

33 Weeks

Not too much to report this week, which is fine by me - my fingertips are killing me. Humidity certainly feels high today. My feet are also quite sore - so full and tight. Ugh. Pretty much makes any activity absolutely no fun.

Aside from my incessant complaining, things really are going swimmingly. Jellybean is certainly getting in as much activity as possible before there is little room to do so!

Our friends Anita and Jed are coming to visit next weekend, so I'm that much more motivated to get things done around here. Especially Jellybean's room.

Here we go, the 34th week!

(Tired. So very tired...)

32 Weeks, baby!

First of all, I would like to THANK ALL DEITIES who happen to be listening for this glorious Summer weather!!! If it were a typical, humid Summer, I would be absolutely miserable. As it is, this puffy lady is holding it together. Some days, just barely. I should offer up a goat (if I had one), or dance naked around a fire under a full moon. Or something.

Speaking of puffiness (fluid retention), I found out from my midwife this morning that two foods are natural diuretics: watermelon and lemon. Bring 'em on! I also may need to reign in the sodium intake. We learned in our Bradley course that I should NOT eliminate salt, for that could have adverse affects (quite the opposite of a non-pregnant diet). But, I may have gone in the opposite direction. I'll need to scale it back a bit, and just find a balance. I may be consuming so much that no amount of water is flushing my system, and flushing is what I need right now. I DON'T HAVE ANKLES.

My prenatal visit this morning went really well:

-No protein in my urine :)
-Blood pressure is still in the safe zone, considering all the water retention :)
-Belly measuring "really good" :)
-Baby's heart rate has slowed (typical at this stage), and is in the "excellent" range of 120-130 :)
-Midwife was fairly certain the baby is backside-up, which means head down :)

We also went over the birth plan (or, birth "preferences", as they prefer it to be called), and the midwife was pleased with it. Said to leave it at the three pages (!), and not to pare it down like we had thought of doing. She said she'll scan it in and it will be with my chart for everyone to see on Birth Day. There are only a couple of things she seemed to question, and said that they really are "standard practice", even for nurse midwives. These things are: rupturing membranes: if I'm dilated 5-6, for instance, rupturing membranes "speeds up the process" by releasing more of the hormones my body needs to signal progression; the other is giving Pitocin to release the placenta after birth, to reduce the risk of my losing too much blood. These things will take a bit more research on our part, and probably some discussion with our Bradley teachers. Regardless, she says, at the time, we always discuss what's happening, and what's going to happen, always analyzing the risks vs. the benefits. I really like this particular midwife. If only we had a choice in who will be delivering. Unfortunately, as I've mentioned before, it's a matter of who is on call.

I must be in good shape, because the midwife gave me the option to go 4 weeks out on the next prenatal visit, as opposed to the typical 2 weeks (standard at this stage). It's hard to believe that the next time I have an appointment, I'll be 36+ weeks!

That's about it for now. Still working on getting our home in order and ready for Jellybean. I decided, last weekend, to paint the crib. That has been an exercise in patience as well as a test to see how far my fingers will allow me to go before they scream, "Stop Now Woman!!! You're Killing Us!!!". The crib has 48 spindles, of the extra "spindly" shape. Not easy to paint anyway, but with the carpal tunnel syndrome, it's a bit more difficult. It's looking really pretty though. Can't wait until it's done, and to get the room put together. But, if I know me (and I think I do), I'll find some other project in that room that will keep me from getting it done any time soon.

31 Weeks

Here we are at 31 weeks. Growing, growing, growing! (if the picture appears strange, it's because I had to touch it up; my back is to the light, therefor creating a shadow, and the shadow makes me look bigger than I am. ) Looking at last week's picture confirms for me that Jellybean was in a strange position then, making me appear larger. Can't you just imagine babe snuggled up in there?!

Here's another angle of this big ol' belly.

No "snooze button" yet (as it was referred to in the movie Juno) . Actually, I don't think my belly button is going to pop out. I've always thought "outies" on pregnant bellies were so cute!

I know it's far too early, but I'm getting really anxious to meet this little one! The more Jellybean moves (and hiccups, which is a lot), and the larger my tummy gets, the more I imagine what he/she looks like and acts like. But my imagination only goes so far. I'm excited, and of course a bit nervous, about the birth. I still feel confident it's going to go well. I think if I'm nervous about one thing more than another, it's that I don't want it to happen before it's time. Once we pass the 36 week mark, I'll feel much less anxious ("5 weeks, Jellybean; hold on!") I also just want to know everything is alright in there, and that all is developing as it should be.

This is going to be a short post, as my fingertips are excruciatingly prickly, which of course makes typing really unpleasant. The carpal tunnel syndrome is only getting worse, and making life a bit challenging (to say the least). I plan to do some acupuncture this week, and speak to a woman in the know about herbs that can help with the fluid retention and inflammation.

Physically (aside from the fingers), I still feel pretty good. I'm feeling A LOT of pressure on my pelvis, and that can be plenty uncomfortable at times. Getting tired a lot easier, so naps are sounding like a better and better idea everyday. Just can't get into the routine. Soon, though, I'm sure I'll be forced to find the time, if I want to be at all functional. Emotionally, I just get a little taxed with the days and days of fingertip numbness and prickles, but otherwise, awesome! I can be a bit moody, but I think I'm holding an even keel for the most part (guess you'll have to ask my husband for the truth on that one). Jellybean was really quiet the other day, and that put me into a bit of a funk. Mentally, all thoughts are on babe and getting things ready. Well, about 98% of my thoughts, anyway. What else is there, right? :)

I should note that we'll be registering for gifts soon. We shouldn't be needing too much, but a lot of what we do need is not inexpensive, unfortunately. We'll register for what we can at Twin Cities Green (you can check out our registry at their online store when we have one). Other items we'll (regrettably) have to look to Target to fill. Please don't feel obligated to gift, but if you want to and can't afford much, we could always use the gift of time. I'd love to see as many of our friends and family, as much as possible, in the next few weeks. Come visit! Or, if you're talented in the kitchen, you could always whip up something delicious that freezes well. Having easy meals - as in, from the freezer to the oven - for post birth would be a wonderful gift!

Until next week...

30 Weeks

Look at this massive belly!! It really doesn't seem this big to me. Until I saw this picture, I didn't think I was any bigger than last week, but I'm pretty sure there's been significant growth since then. Of course, it could just be a matter of positioning too.

Speaking of positioning, this is a subject that's been on my mind a lot lately. I think, by now babe is supposed to be head down. This would be the case by week 36, anyway - ideally. I'm fairly certain head is down most of the time. I can feel what I think is the backside up above my naval - too big, and not round enough, to be the head. Given the fact that we're intending for a natural birth, I just want to ensure (as far as I can) that we're not dealing with a breech position.

Some things we're doing on a regular basis, however, should help. We have been doing the Rebozo Technique, which - if we're doing it correctly - should encourage the baby into the proper position. (plus, it feels really good - leaning on an exercise ball while on my knees, and having belly supported by something other than my back) I'm also continuing to do my pelvic rock exercises learned in the Bradley class.

I'm somewhat "dealing" with the symptoms of this carpal tunnel syndrome I've acquired. (my husband would tell you otherwise; bless his heart for dealing with me) It does get rather frustrating, not feeling the tips of now 4 of my fingers. The only thing I can do is keep busy, to keep my mind off of it. Otherwise it will drive me absolutely batty. The next couple of months could be a challenge, especially if we get any kind of normal Summer weather. The humidity really makes it worse. I'm loving the weather lately, for this and the lesser swelling elsewhere!

But, really, I can't complain. I feel good. Heavy, but good. I feel really confident that the pregnancy, as well as the birth, are going to turn out well. I had a dream last night that I gave birth (right now, so far too early) somewhere - don't know where, but not in a hospital. The only other person there was an old friend, who caught the baby, and everything went swimmingly. The baby came out beautiful and healthy, with a full head of the darkest brown hair, and golden olive skin. But, even in my dream, I didn't know if Jellybean was a boy or a girl. For some reason, we couldn't tell. It was kind of a silly, but sweet, dream.

Working on Jellybean's room. I could call it close to done, but I just can't. The creative, artistic, "designery" person in me can't say that. That person sees so much more to do. Not sure how much I'll do, but whatever I do, I need to get on it. Everything from painting furniture (which I wasn't going to do), to a special painting technique on the wall, to sewing linens... So much! But, I really want this room to be special. If we're on schedule, we have only 8-12 weeks to get it done, along with all the other stuff we need to get done around here (the rest of the house is still in need of organization; we need to start making food to freeze, for the first couple of months after the birth; I need to do a deep cleaning; we have classes and birth center tours to take and a birthplan to write up...).

Speaking of "schedule"... I should point out two things: 1) I have - and always have had - a sneaky suspicion that our "due date" is a bit off. As in late. I think we're a few weeks further along than 30. This makes me think that if we're a bit early, we may just be on time. Regardless, 2) "due dates" are not something to be taken literally, as I'm sure everyone knows. But, it should really be considered a general time frame, especially by mama and papa, so as to not have too many expectations. An OB will generally tell you you're "late" at 42 weeks, and want to induce, but that's really not necessary most of the time. And, if you're "early", you could panic, as could others, and then the birth becomes "a situation". If I'm at 40 weeks, and nothing is really happening, the week or two (or three) following could be very trying. On the other hand, if I start to go into labor at 37 weeks, I want to be prepared - not in shock.

So, I should like for everyone to keep in mind that September 20th is a general date, and not only could we be early or late, it's not a date we're going to fixate on. At least not anymore. These days, if anyone asks when we're due, we say "mid to late September". It would be helpful if everyone got into this mindset along with us. Thanks in advance!

The Poop

So, this is a strange post, but I felt the need to share. And - so you're aware - I will be talking about poop.

This morning I had my usual post-breakfast BM, and all seemed normal. No pain, no weirdness, no "staining" on the TP. But then I turned around to flush and saw that the bowl of "stuff" was slightly reddish. Hm, strange. Of course, like just about anyone, the first thing I thought was, "Oh my god, blood!". To make things more concerning, there seemed to be little red balls in the stool. Cause for alarm? Perhaps. (what would you think?)

Well, while remaining calm (trying not to be alarmed), I was sure to call Michael to see what he thought. For one thing, having a spouse with whom you feel comfortable discussing such matters, sometimes you find out that they have experienced something you yourself are experiencing for the first time. Second of all, I wanted to know if he could think of anything we'd eaten recently that may not have been easily digestible. I couldn't think of anything, and neither could he. So I called the Blue Cross nurse line.

After asking all the standard questions (and there were many), and basically coming up with nothing specific, "Juanita" suggested I call to make an appointment with my doctor sometime in the next week or so, and to watch for more of the same, but not to be alarmed unless something changed drastically. It didn't sound like an emergency. She also said that due to the color of red (assuming it was blood) I described, it's most likely higher up the digestive tract and not, say, a hemorrhoid, or something else further down. But, no guesses on the little "balls".

I wanted a second opinion, so I called the nurse line at the women's clinic where I've been doing my prenatals. I figured, for all Juanita knows, this isn't an emergency under normal circumstances, but perhaps it would be for someone who is pregnant. After some discussion with "Peg", telling her all of the same stuff I told Juanita, she figured it very well could have been a hemorrhoid, just internal. But, in the end, basically gave me the same advice: watch my subsequent BM's and note anything unusual. If it persists, call and make an appointment. I asked if she had an opinion about the little balls, and she suggested (or did she ask if I thought...) perhaps blood clots. Gasp!

While continuing to talk with Peg, and describing to her size of the balls - about the size of a pea - something hit me! "The size of a pea"...

Huh. Peas? Why, yes, I had eaten peas recently. As a matter of fact, raw peas, straight out of the pod, in a salad... And, what else was on that salad? Beets! I had eaten this salad Wednesday night, and then again the leftovers Thursday for lunch. I asked Peg, after slightly laughing at myself, if she thought it possible for the color of the beets to have made its way through, and if the peas were just too difficult to digest. She kind of laughed a little, and said it was entirely possible.

I think it's more than possible, but probable. And altogether too funny.

I, myself, have never seen my poo colored from beets, and I guess I just never paid attention to whether or not my body was able to digest raw peas. I am sort of self-diagnosing here, but I'm about 99% sure this is the answer. (I will, of course, be watching and paying close attention to the way I feel, and see someone promptly should anything change; so far, nothing to worry about)

So, in sharing this, I'm hoping to alleviate some alarm in others should they experience something like this. (Of course, I'm not advocating that you "assume" the same for yourself. I just hope that you won't be worried it's blood clots or worse, at least until you see someone or do some detailed evaluation of what you've eaten recently) I did a little research about the color of beets making its way through to the end, and found out that not only is it entirely possible, it's medical condition: beeturia. I'm not even kidding. It totally sounds like a made-up name, as in, made up by a child. Apparently, only a small percentage of the population is susceptible to it. Who knew? I also read (and will continue to research), that it's a sign that my body is struggling with the uptake of iron. Hm.

Speaking of poo (because I can't speak of it enough..?): I ordered diapers today! (yes, I am a mom-to-be and a slight geek about all things pregnancy/baby/parenting, so ordering diapers is a "yay!" moment) Remember my post about the free gDiapers? Well, the company that came out with flushable diaper inserts has now come out with washable inserts, upon customer demand. So, now you can use the same pants and liners for at-home and out-and-about purposes. Since, in our free stash, we acquired 2 pairs of pants (both with liners), two extra liners and a total of 40 flushable inserts, we just needed a few more pants and the cloth inserts. Ordered the six pack of pants - originally $70, but I found an online coupon that saved us $30 - and 24 inserts. We should be good to get started once Jellybean arrives, and if we find we're running behind on washing, we can order more and use the flushables in the meantime.

Given these (and all diapers) are sized, and "small" is what we're starting with, we'll have to buy another whole set once Jellybean is 14+ lbs. At least for now, we can say we got a steal for these, and we'll be saving tons compared to disposables. Heck, even if we end up buying these at full price from now on, we're saving money compared to disposables. Not to mention, feeling much better about ourselves about the whole thing, environmentally (that is what got this ball rolling in the first place).

I will also be creating my own wipes solution (100% natural) to use on washable cloth wipes. I'll keep a spray bottle and the dry wipes next to the changing station, and we're good to go. Saving on waste here as well. Yay! Who knew one could be so thrilled about poo?!

29 Weeks

Prenatal appointment on Wednesday went well. I passed the test for gestational diabetes with flying colors (so relieved)! UA came out looking good as well. Size and development of Jellybean is right on track, and heartbeat is still very strong (140's). I had to go back on Thursday to have blood drawn again, and for the shot of Rhogam to my tushy, because the clinic overlooked that I was to have that done on Wednesday. Good thing I thought of it Wednesday afternoon and called about it.

We've apparently experience a growth spurt since the last visit (even since last week!). I've known it for about a week, with feeling quite a bit "fuller" earlier in the day (I tend to wake up feeling somewhat deflated, and then feel fuller as the day goes on anyway, but now it's pretty much right after breakfast). Baby is definitely getting stronger. Those kicks and punches have yet to make contact with the ribs, but there are times they stop me in my tracks for sure!

Still struggling with the carpal tunnel syndrome, with fingertips feeling tingly or numb a lot of the time. I have a sneaky suspicion that it isn't just a wrist thing. It would be interesting to see what happens with a good massage (there is a knot in my back/shoulder deeper and tighter than I've ever experienced before). I would like to visit an acupuncturist as well. Something is keeping things from moving, I just know it. It may just be fluid retention, but I feel like something is "stuck". And I want it unstuck! Very frustrating, to feel incapacitated (when I can't feel my fingertips), when all I want to do is keep busy (nesting!!).

Michael was home all week, last week, and we had a lovely time together. Getting some things done around the house, and spending a lot of time reconnecting. We've really needed it, and I think it came at a perfect time. I very quickly got used to him being here, and it was sad to see him go off to work this morning.

Now that the carpet is installed in the basement, and our "office" is getting set up down there, we should be able to get the baby's room done. I can't wait to see it all come together. We picked up a rocker, found through Craigslist, for fifteen dollars! I found it, and told Mike we were going to pick it up, no questions asked - so that I can finally just have a rocker and stop looking. It just so happened to be exactly like the one he had in his room growing up, so he definitely didn't have any reservations about getting it - especially at the price. Jellybean's room will definitely be a mismatched, eclectic grouping of furniture and things, but then again, so is the rest of the house, and that's just the way we like it. So far we've spent $20 (not including paint, which wasn't cheap, but the paint used was also used in other rooms), and I plan to sew up any fabric-related items (crib sheets, etc.) from fabrics/sheets we have on hand. We'll see how that works with the tingly, numb fingers, but I'm determined to get it done, and get it done on the cheap (not compromising taste and style, of course, if I can help it). Hopefully we'll have pictures coming soon.

For now, I've got to finish cleaning and such, and get some things put together for our last Bradley class tonight (potluck!). Being a stay-at-home mom in training rocks.


P.S. We're hoping to have a visitor this weekend!! One of my dearest friends, Andrea, may be coming from Wisconsin, to spend the whole weekend. I'm super-excited to have an entire weekend of catching up, especially since I haven't seen her since the wedding. I hope things line up to allow her to come and see us!!

My body is not my own...and other stuff

Well, I'm far from complaining about "being pregnant", just to preface the following update. I still feel really good, and am falling more and more in love with Jellybean everyday (I've chosen a nickname to refer to the baby, instead of always saying "the baby").

But, to update:

Seriously, this is not my body. Well, it is, in its most extreme form. I've always had issues with circulation, so I kind of saw some things coming. And, other things..well, they're just par for the course, I suppose.

Apparently carpal tunnel syndrome (which is common in about 20% of all pregnancies) has reared its ugly head. I saw my chiropractor this morning, and he informed me that it is a matter of circulation, and where there is normally a very small opening for circulation in the wrist, the fluid retention is causing that to be next to nil. Needless to say, some yoga positions have been painful to the point of nearly collapsing within a pose, and sleeping on my left side (the side recommended in pregnancy) causes enough tingling and numbness to wake me up several times a night, due to the fact that it's worse on my left side than my right. My left thumb is pretty much in a constant state of tingling/numbness throughout the day.

My feet are up to a size and a half larger (according to shoe sizes). I used to be comfortable in 7 1/2 - 8, and now 9's are standard issue. And, any constriction - any whatsoever - is so uncomfortable! I have a pair of sandals that are relatively comfortable, but they have straps that are somewhat binding...well, an hour (if that) in those shoes, and the fluid in my feet puddle up and around the straps, making my feet look like a play-doh fun factory. And, the bottoms of my feet are always hot and tight. Always.

Other than the circulation, I'm finding that the size of my belly (already!) is making maneuvering difficult, particularly in bed. I really do feel like I'm carrying around a basketball (a very heavy one) on the front of my body. My tummy isn't necessarily the size of a basketball yet, but apparently my uterus is, and I can definitely feel it when I'm laying down, trying to get into a comfortable position, or getting out of bed 3-4 times a night to pee. I can feel the weight in my lower back as well as on my pelvic region. That makes doing a lot of everyday activities difficult and tiresome.

I am the sweat machine! Particularly my armpits. No amount of antiperspirant works (I try to limit my use of that anyways), and it just isn't feasible to try and "powder" the pits - not only is it messy, it just doesn't stay dry for more than 10 minutes. Between my legs, my ass crack, where the boobs meet the belly..you name it, it's sweaty. Ewe.

My nipples are...not my nipples. They've tripled..maybe even quadrupled in size (the areola, that is), and since about the 2nd month I've had some crusties from leaking colostrum. Not enough to notice through the bra, mind you. Though, last night I experienced a leak on the bed for the first time. It may be time to pick up some reusable breast pads. Might as well stock up.

I am almost immediately affected by too much sugar, not enough water, pushing my body too hard, and nearly anything else involving my physiology.

Alas, with all of this extra blood circulating through my veins, I do have a nice, rosy glow most of the time. Especially with the weather being as warm as it's been. My hair is growing rapidly, making it difficult to NOT chop it again - which I may just do before mid Summer. But, if I decide to keep growing it, I'm off to a good start. And, my chubby little fingers just keep growing long, strong nails that I have to keep trimmed or they'll poke an eye out.

All in all, I really do love being pregnant. I love feeling this life in my belly, and seeing it grow and change the shape of my body. I'm enjoying learning about the process of birth, and may have even discovered a new path for myself, in the area of becoming a doula, or in some capacity attempting to educate women about the beautiful, natural process of birth and becoming a mama.

An update on other stuff:

Bradley Method Classes
Michael and I are nearly done with the Bradley classes (last class is July 6th). I'm so glad we took this course. We've learned so much, and having met our teachers has proven to be a beneficial addition to our lives. I think we may have a doula, or at the very least some long term friends, from this, as well as a better understanding of the labor/delivery process. We'll have over 2 months left until the birth once we're done, but we may go back for some refreshers toward the end. Having that time will allow us the chance to really focus on our birth plan and to practice the relaxation techniques we want to take with us into birth.

Birth Center Opening Up
There is a birth center opening up in St. Louis Park, and we're hoping to get into it if they're open in time. They were supposed to have been open already, and I'm not sure what the hold up is, but we're hoping to meet with the woman running it at one of Blooma's Monday night parenting/childbirth collectives. (currently, our Bradley class is on Monday's, so we'll have to wait just a couple more weeks) If you're unfamiliar with what a "birth center" is, it's more or less the closest thing you can get to the comfort of your own home, and anything but the typical "hospital" setting for giving birth. A nice compromise, considering they're far more likely to be covered under insurance than a home birth, because they're usually affiliated with a hospital.

Classes, classes and more classes!
We'll be attending plenty of classes pretty soon, and I'm glad we're starting now. Everything from breast feeding to child CPR to infant massage. I will, of course, be checking in with my local Le Leche League. And, we're doing a hospital tour of Fairview Riverside (just in case the birth center isn't open in time). This hospital is where the midwives at Fairview Womens Clinic (our prenatal clinic) deliver.

Yoga
The best thing I've done for myself, and I think, for the baby and birthing process. I heart Blooma! What a wonderful place, I can't say enough about it. Sarah Longacre has really hit something with what she's created there. She's a doula herself, having attended hundreds of births, and really understands the body and the birthing process. She is a phenominal yoga instructor, and very enocouraging of mama's to find their inner strength and wisdom for giving birth. I leave her classes feeling a little more empowered each time.

I feel I'm really ready - kind of excited, even - for the birth, thanks to yoga, the Bradley classes, and lots of research. I'm going to trust my body and my baby to do what is natural and whatever it is we're meant to do..together!

And, here's the bump at 28 weeks! Not much different than at 26, though I'm feeling much fuller, far earlier in the day. Once I start eating and drinking, I can really tell there's less room in there. Baby is continuing to move like crazy. Though, we did have a bit of a scare yesterday. Okay, I had a moment of paranoia that led me to realize just how overwhelmed I am by the idea of having this life depend on me. But my beautiful husband came through and helped me to calm down and not panic. I had been busy-busy for about a day and a half, hardly sitting long enough to really feel for Jellybean and watch my tummy like I typically do. I was convinced there was next to NO normal movement for close to 24 hours. Alas, today, baby is back in action.

The next time you see, or talk to, my husband, praise him for his patience and kindness, and tell him how wonderful a father he will be, for if he can deal with all my complaining about the above business (and then some - don't get me started on the heat!), and my weepy worrying, he'll shine as a parental unit.