The Family Bed

We share our bed with Charlotte. She's been there since the second week of her life, and it works out pretty splendidly. Save for transitional times (growth spurt!) or when she has a cold, we all sleep pretty well together. Mind you, this isn't easy right from the start and it does take some sacrifice.

But it is SO worth it! The first time I slept next to my baby girl, it was magical. We both awoke refreshed, and there really isn't any way to explain what it's like to see that beautiful face first thing when I open my eyes. Of course I was nervous, the first, second, third time. But I very quickly understood the natural instincts we have as mothers, and my confidence began to grow. It still took several weeks to figure out how to lay, what method of covering myself up worked (our bedroom doesn't maintain a temperature for anything) and how to night nurse lying down. That latter hurtle has saved us many, many nights of baby waking completely, just to snack and fall back asleep.

Of course, there's all kinds of controversy and so many opinions on this issue. I'm not going to go into it all here, except to say that all safety measures are taken into account, so not to worry there. We don't drink heavily (I have had two small glasses of wine, total, in the whole 3 months of her life thus far; and Michael doesn't drink anywhere near bedtime), we don't use drugs, we don't smoke, we don't wear bulky clothing or use large, overstuffed bedding and there's nothing for her to get wedged into/between. I firmly believe in mother's instincts in the "rolling over" argument.

This works for us. It will work for us until Charlotte is ready to sleep elsewhere (and, no, it won't be when she's 15; children wean themselves naturally when they're ready - if they're not ready, there's a reason, and it's not because they're "spoiled").

What I know is this: I sleep better knowing that Charlotte is breathing, comfortable and safe. I like knowing that I may just be saving her life by being in-tuned to her breathing patterns, and will therefor wake up if she stops breathing (who know, perhaps I have/do). I don't have to get up in the night to feed her, which means we hardly wake up at all, which means better sleep for both of us.

Don't get me wrong. Like I said in the first paragraph, it's not easy at first. We're still figuring out how warm the room should be, how warmly dressed Charlotte needs to be, how confident papa is about sleeping next to her (we're getting closer), and so on. And, this last week or two has been rough, because she's had nasal congestion, which means more night fussing. But that would happen if she were in her crib. This way, we can comfort her immediately. If the comforting and consoling doesn't work, we have long nights. But a baby with a cold will give you long nights anyway. I'm convinced that her lying next to me, nursing as she needs to (which has also increased during this miserable time), is helping her get over this and feel better.

(for the record, just about a month ago, Charlotte's sleep schedule started looking like this: to sleep around 10 (she has made it well known that this is her bed time, and not a minute earlier), sleeps until 3 or 4, nurses for a bit and falls back to sleep, wakes anywhere from 5:30-6:30 to nurse again, and then sleeps until 7 or 8; so, waking up twice, essentially, but really sleeping for 9 hours overall. Works for me!)